As salam
When I
saw her, I saw the old me
A person
full of views and thoughts.
Well,
she's just wayy better of course! I envied her courage and oneself. Of knowing
what we want in life is just not easy.
I lost my
track right now. I don't really know what I want, I don’t know what should be
done, simply said, I'm lost. To gather back those packed-flatted spirit is not
easy.
Now, see.
Who am I?
I'm a
person of hope, of courage, full of ambition, full of insights (which I never
let people know of it , as I only let those thing flows into my deep buried
diary and my so-called anonymous blog and that is just what make her different
from me as she just have that courage to let it out) fuh.
Well,
despite of being ignorant, egoistic and just a me-oriented-self I'm not that
bad huh?
Naahh
I'm a bad
person.
At heart.
How did
years changes me? I live in the world full of, changes. People around me
changes rapidly, climbing those good-deeds-pathways? Which is good.
Me? I
learnt a LOT. Lots of things flew in, but, the feelings, emotions, hope, and
the urge to make a change, a good change seems to be fading away. The urge to
stay at the same pace, making changes are just, not there. It’s there
sometimes, but not everytime. They called it futur. Is it? I don’t know.
I observe
things around, sometimes, I got something, to treasure. Sometimes I just don’t.
Ever
heard that musics and smells brings back memories? Never believed it when I was
a little kid, but now, yeah, it did. Random.
I grew
up, being a person full of courage, and insights. Yes I do. That is where I
get, a sense of myself.
Gearing
up!
I can't
be the old stagnant me. No I can't.
I can't
always ramble on feelings,
I can't
be someone of no, educational views?
Dan
ketahuilah,
" Al Ahzab (
33:70-71). Wahai orang-orang yang beriman! Bertakwalah kamu kepada Allah dan ucapkanlah perkataan yang benar.
Nescaya Allah akan memperbaiki
amal-amalmu dan mengampuni
dosa-dosamu.
Dan barang siapa mentaati Allah dan rasulNya, maka
sungguh, dia menang dengan kemenangan yang agung. "
So what
went wrong? Where have myself been these whole few years back?
Banyak
input, tanpa rasa dan amal adalah sia-sia - bagiku.
The iman,
and amal! That is what went missing these years.
The iman
the iman the iman.
Of
feelings, that we do everything because of Allah swt.
The urge
of seeking Allah's blessing is put apart from our hard-working for the dunya.
Realizing
that we can be called back to our Creator is there.
But the
awareness and feel of it is just now strong enough.
And I
just now hope, that DUA' will help me find my way through.
-taqwa,
tawakkal. Big words.
Efford
should not be put apart.
Everything,
will just be collected and presented in front of the Creator.
No, don’t
just learn it.
FEEL and
LIVE with it.
Remember
that, always remember that.
Of being
good inside, with iman, and taqwa at heart, insyaAllah it will, insyaAllah
flashes out…
And when
the time come.
I will
not regret.
We will
not regret.
Hoping,
praying,
Me
18Oct2012; 11.58am
Study table
University.
p/s: I
found a picture of myself, years, years ago, sitting beside a teacher, who had
passed away, recently. Feel it.
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